Letter from Luigi Santiago


Guiseppe Santiago



Dear Mr. Manager Generalissimo

I, Luigi Guiseppi Santiago, comma from Italiano and gotta a job in your kind firm on a bigga building downa town.

When I gotta to the job yesterday, the boss he say I gotta bringa the bricks down from the fiftha floor. So I getta some rope and a beam and a pulley and a bigga wooden barrel and makea the hoist and hoista the barrel upa to the fiftha floor. Then I tiea the rope down at the grounda floor.

When I filla the barrel witha bricks, I comma down and untied the rope. The barrel, she Halfaway up I meeta the barrel. She When the barrel she hitta the ground, the arsa she fella outa him and alla the bricks they falla ona the ground. Then I getta heavier thanna the barrel anda start to comma down. Halfaway down I meet the barrel again. She hitta me and skina my shin, breaka my kneecap and the sharpa bit she rip offa my left nut, I keepa going down till I hitta the bricks. I getta the cuts all over, slippa the disc inna my back and breaka my leg.

Mr. Sir Boss, THEN I letta go ofa the rope. The barrel she comma down again. She hitta me anda breaka five of my ribs; knocks out alla my teeth and breaka my jaw.

Now, Mr. Boss, this isa my problem. My wife she say she leava me because she donta want a husband witha one nut, no teeth and a sixty foot cock liken a string. The foreman he calla me a stupid dago bastard. I naturalised Australian bastard. My doctor he say I might havea to go to hospital. Mr. Boss; what I wanta know isa, how mucha I gotta pay for the barrel I break?

Luigi Guiseppi Santiago