Life's minor irritations


  1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I need to point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
  2. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
  3. When something is "new and improved"! Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
  4. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here, knob head?
  5. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Too right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?