Graffiti the world over!

Anonymous (Various)

CLASSIC SEX GRAFFITI


KEEP AUSTRALIA GREEN

- have sex with a frog.

(Sydney)


I think sex is better than logic but I can't prove it.

(University of New South Wales)


Sex appeal - please give generously.

(Aston Clinton)


See the Atomic Blonde!!

Blasted into maternity by a guided muscle!!

(London W1)


Adam met Eve and turned over a new leaf.

(Broadstairs)


ONE IN KATE BUSH IS WORTH TEN IN THE HAND

(Bristol)


Roses are red,

Pansies are gay.

If it weren't for kind ladies,

We'd all be that way.

(Eastbourne)


If sex is a pain in the arse - you're doing it wrong.

(Nottingham)


ENGLISHMEN MAKE THE BEST LOVERS

- the Japanese make them smaller and cheaper.

(London SW1)


WEARING THESE IS LIKE PICKING YOUR NOSE WITH RUBBER GLOVES ON.

- My God, what a nose you've got!

(On contraceptive vending machine, Macclesfield)


Unilateral withdrawal is the answer to the population problem.

(Barnstaple)


Insert baby for refund.

(On contraceptive vending machine, Oxford)


Call it incest - but I want my mummy.

(Glasgow)



CLASSIC TOILET GRAFFITI


THIS CISTERN IS FITTED WITH DOLBY

- takes the slush out of flush.

- takes the hiss out of piss.

(Leeds)


If you sprinkle when you tinkle.

Be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.

(Ladies' lavatory, Totnes)


MEDICAL STUDENTS ARE ASKED TO PROVIDE A SPECIMEN OF URINE IN THE RECEPTACLE PROVIDED - PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY

(Medical School lavatory, London)


Your family's future lies in your hands

(Gent's lavatory, traditional)


Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the performance.

(Gent's lavatory, Leominster)


Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat - eventually you get pissed off.

(Oxford)



GENERAL ISSUES AND THE BIZARRE TYPE OF GRAFFITI


IN CASE OF ATOMIC ATTACK:

1. PUT YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR EARS.

2. PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.

3. KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE.

(San Francisco)


JESUS LIVES!

- does this mean we won't get an Easter Holiday then?

(Bristol)


The DC10 is not all its cracked up to be.

(Gatwick Airport)


The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.

(Wolverhampton)


These days govt. is a four-letter word.

(Denver)


Vampires are a pain in the neck.

(Scunthorpe)


OLD GOLFERS NEVER DIE

THEY SIMPLY LOSE THEIR BALLS

(Coventry)


If the buses were on time, we wouldn't write on bus shelters.

(Bath)


Since using your shampoo, my hair has come alive. Signed: Medusa.

(Athens)


Your face is like a million dollars - all green and crinkly.

(Denver)


EINSTEIN RULES RELATIVELY, OK

- well, in theory anyway.

(London, SE6)